Extending a Buddha's Hand - Lemon Chicken

Yesterday and today, I cut off a finger and threw it in my water.  It definitely put a pep in my step, which is an accomplishment.  I am normally a peppy stepper, but with a play in development and 120 kids a day flying through my classroom, it's been tough.  I am so glad to know that I have a whole fist-full of buddha's fingers for the rest of the week!

I decided to cut a little deeper into that bad boy last night and try a spin on an old classic: lemon chicken. I riffed off of Her Royal Highness, Ina Garten's recipe and did this:

2 large chicken breasts, scored
1/3 cup dry white wine (Whole Foods Chardonnay.  I've been cheap lately.)
1 tbsp sea salt, ground
1/2 tbsp black pepper, ground
1/3 cup good olive oil
1 tbsp poultry seasoning (ground oregano, thyme, sage, rosemary, parsley)
minced garlic
2 fingers of buddha's hand, chopped (doesn't that sound witchy?!?!?)

For your pasta:
1 cup of casarecce pasta
2 1/2 cups water
salt and olive oil for water
1/3 cup broccoli florets, diced
1/3 cup mushrooms, sliced thinly
1/4 cup heavy cream
1/3 cup fresh buffalo mozzarella
However much parmesean as you would like


I am a huge fan of the ziploc marinade.  this way, you can mix and squish it all together and really rub it evenly into what you're marinating.  So...

Pour the last sip of a bottle of drinkable dry white into your zip loc along with your olive oil.  Throw the salt and pepper in there, along with the poultry seasoning.  Mix this up before you put in your garlic and buddha's hand chunks.

Mince up your garlic as fine as you can.  I like to throw a little salt on the cutting board and crush it with the flat blade side of my knife.  It gets it to a very fine mince where all the juices are released.  Scrape this off the cutting board and into your bag.  Take the buddha's hand and cut off the ends.  Now, just chop it like a carrot, very finely, and throw half into the bag.  Let this marinate for as long as you can, but no less than 1 hour.

During this time, you can:
-  grade papers
-  do a few sun salutations
-  walk your spoiled little dog
-  gossip with your elderly neighbors
-  text your ex, who is also grading papers
-  get caught up watching Netflix
-  freak out over the school play that isn't coming together fast enough
-  grade papers
-  realize "ohh crap, it's 8:30 and I totally forgot about my marinating chicken"
-  grade papers, hungrily and guiltily

Choose your starch:  I went with pasta, because it's quick and easy and I wanted something chewy.  While the water is boiling, heat up your pan and toss the unmarinated chopped buddha's finger in, along with some olive oil.  When it starts turning translucent, throw the chicken in with the marinade.   When cooked through, throw your veggies in.  Pour in the heavy cream in and lower the heat, stirring continuously.  When your whole dish looks done, add in your cheese and stir. Toss your pasta in with a little bit of the water and toss it all together.  Turn your burner off and let your pasta sit for a bit before eating


THE VERDICT:

.....................meh.

The lemon cream sauce recipe is something I whip up on a fairly regular basis.  The only difference was the buddha's fingers, and honestly I found myself eating around them rather than enjoying them.  There is so much rind to them that they really have a bitter taste without the brightness of lemon juice.  This struck me as a little strange, because they added such a sweet brightness to my water.  More experiments will be conducted. 

Take comfort, dear readers, that I will find a proper use for the lemony anemone in my kitchen.

Extending a Buddha's Hand

Bloggers...I've been unfaithful.

You may be wondering why I haven't updated in so long.  It's taken me a long time to own up to this in my own heart, which is why I feel okay telling you now.  I know it might hurt you to hear what I have to say, however I believe that this new chapter in my life may be the best thing for both of us.

Okay...here goes...

The truth is, I have been cheating on my chik'un.  Two-timing my tofu.  Sneaking around my seitan.  Lying to my legumes.....I'll stop.

I am a bacon addict.  It's true.  I have kept a strict vegetarian diet for most of my life, however, the temptation of salty, chewy bacon has been too much to bear.  From my first whiff as a child, I could never deny it.  It has become a gateway meat.  I blame it all on the bacon.

It has only gotten worse, since I am teaching full time, sometimes traveling and always working nights and weekends. I could not deny myself the temptation to taste such culinary masterpieces as the Chicago hot dog, the Philly cheese steak, or Maine lobster.  I mean, how is a girl supposed to survive a week in Alabama without some down-home BBQ?

I hope you will forgive me.  I am weak and fickle in the face of flavor.  Therefore, I extend to you a hand

A Buddha's Hand

This freaky fruit is responsible for the flavor behind Citron vodka.  It grows in a select few farms in China and is not easy to come by.  It is mostly a chewy rind, but my god does it make my apartment smell like heaven.  When I saw this beauty up for grabs at my local Whole Foods, I had to have it.  It inspired me to post here again and share all of the wonderful recipes I have come up with over the past few months.  I hope you will take my buddha's hand and read my blog again, even if it includes some carnivorous recipes.  Let's cook together again, shall we?

Chick'n Coconut Curry

I have ruined a curry or few in my day.  Just like homemade caramel and alfredo sauce, I can never seem to get just the right combination of spices and timing together to make it juuuust right.  Until today.  Yes, my friends, I have decided to stop being fancy and go with just plain ol' curry powder.  And it turned out perfect.

An Indian grocery store opened up within walking distance from my home.  I've been pacing the aisles on a fairly regular basis, just looking for inspiration (and buying a vegetable here and there so I don't seem rude to the owner).  While food products like Sambar Paste and Vindaloo left my head reeling, I was finally able to decide on a single item as a starting point: boring old curry powder.  Keep it simple, stupid.

And it was anything but.

While I will never find a vegetarian replacement for bacon, it has come to my attention that a Morningstar Farms product called Chick'n Strips is in existence.  It tastes almost exactly like real chicken and even has the meaty, sinewy texture of true meat!  This fancy little bag has since become a staple in my freezer:

Now, I know that traditionally Thai food calls for coconut milk, I loved the sweetness and the consistency of it so much, I decided it would be best to grab a can as a starting point.  So here goes:

1 can light coconut milk

2 tbsp coconut oil

1/2 bag (about 8 pieces chick'n strips)

4 cloves garlic, diced

1/2 medium onion, diced

1 handful cherry tomatoes, sliced

1/2 cup frozen peas

1 tbsp chili paste

2 tbsp curry powder

1 tsp diced ginger

1 tsp cayenne pepper (or to taste)

salt and pepper to taste

spring onions to taste.

1 cup rice

drop the coconut oil into a heated skillet along with the garlic and onions.  Cook on medium heat until the garlic is a little brown and the onions are soft.  Squeeze out a good dollop of chili paste and the ginger goop, then give it a good stir.  Let that sit for another 3-5 minutes, then add the chick'n and cayenne.  The Chick'n won't exactly brown, but you should be able to tell when it seems "comfortable" in the spices.  I gave it about 5-7 minutes.  While the chick'n is snuggling up, slice the tomatoes up.  Add the peas and the tomatoes at the same time and let 'em sit until the peas are done melting, but not quite cooked through.  Then, add the coconut milk, curry powder, salt and pepper.

Have you been cooking the rice?  I always forget that part.

Give the curry a good stir and reduce the heat.  Let it sit, while occasionally stirring for about ten minutes until the flavors blend together.  When you can't deal anymore because your house smells too freakin' tasty, dump all that business into a bowl and chow down.

Namaste guys.

Latkes: The Real Jew Gold

My friend Becca and I were talking one day. Becca is my very oldest friend, and we have shared many important life events with each other. We keep up to date and we love each other, but seeing as she is living in bloody England right now, it's hard to get in touch with her sometimes.

Out of the blue, I shot her an email asking about a very old and deep love of ours: her father's latke recipe. we used to have Hanukkah at each other's houses and play. Her dad always made the better latkes, which my father can't admit to this day. tonight, the first night of Hanukkah, Becca responded with her father's recipe. I played with it a little and am really, really happy with the results. The flavor, the crunchiness, the gooiness...it's truly a treat that i hope you all enjoy as much as I do.

8 large potatoes, yukon or russet...or a mix
1 medium vidalia onion
1-2 shallots, depending on size
2 eggs, lightly beaten
2 1/2 tablespoons all purpose flour
1 tablespoon salt
1/2 tablespoon white pepper
5 cups vegetable oil


heat 1/2 cup vegetable oil in a large flat iron skillet on medium.

Quarter your potatoes and onions. Using a food processor or speed and upper body strength, grate your potatoes and onions into a large mixing bowl. quickly mix in your flour, eggs, sal and pepper before it oxidizes (turns an icky pinkish brown).

Using a slotted spoon, scoop approximately 3/4 cup, or whatever size you prefer, and spoon it into the skillet. the oil should be bubbling up around the pancake (but not burning it or spitting!), if not, raise the temperature slightly.

Once solid and golden brown on one side (roughly 6 minutes) flip over to other side gently with a spatula. I honestly used a filet spatula which worked excellently. Fry until other side is golden brown (roughly 4 minutes) and remove from heat. Place them on a cookie dish or a broiling plate to catch the oil dripping off of them.

And repeat. Until you are finished with your batter. If you need to drain the liquid a little as your batter gets thinner, use a fine sieve.

Most people serve latkes with sour cream. I always had them with apple sauce. To each their own.

Jew-dle Kugel!

While I'm not really a practicing Jew, I like the tradition of the holidays. I think whatever we all celebrate, we can all agree that food really makes the holidays. Before I left for college, my mother wrote down all the family recipes and gave them to me in a little accordion folder. So tonight, I cracked open the recipe box and found a noodle kugel that I have loved since I was little. Kugel was originally a sort of dump recipe that eastern european Jews would use. They would combine the best vegetables and meats that they had at the end of the week and bake it into a delicious sabbath meal. Ever since the historic Jewish discovery of lo mein, kugel has been less popular except on family occasions, such as Hanukkah. This particular kugel is my grandmother's best friend's recipe. It's basically upside-down noodle cheesecake. Mind the measurements, but I'm giving you exactly what it says on the index card. Get ready for excellence:

1 lb fine egg noodles
1 stick butter
1 pint sour cream
1/2 cup farmer's cheese (or ricotta)
1 cup (or 8 oz) cream cheese
3 eggs
3/4 cup white sugar

for topping:
1 package sliced almonds
1 jar orange marmalade or apricot jelly
1/2 cup brown sugar
2 tbsp cinnamon
1 stick melted butter

Earlier in the day, set out your butter, farmer's cheese and cream cheese so that they are room temperature by the time you're ready to cook. Once you're ready to start, preheat the oven to 375 degrees. in a large bowl, combine the cream cheese, farmer's cheese, sour cream, butter, white sugar and eggs until smooth. Cook the noodles in a large pot with a pinch of salt. the noodles shouldn't take more than 3 minutes to cook, which is why we save them for last. Once the noodles are done, strain them and toss them into your sweet cheesy mixture. pour this mixture into a 9x13 inch baking dish.

For the topping, melt the butter in a small saucepan or in the microwave in a dish. while you're doing this, empty your marmalade into a medium mixing bowl. pour your sugar and almonds in and mix evenly. Add your butter and cinnamon and stir to combine. Spread that all the crap over your cheesy noodles for a crispy sweet crust.

just like this crust

Stick that tasty mess in the oven for 45 minutes. let it cool, then chow your face off.

Egg Salad Scrumwich

When I was in Atlanta at a speech and debate tournament, I visited my Daddy at a local Diner. He whisked me away for good blues, good beer (sweetwater 420 IPA, a local staple!) and of course, good food. He took me to this amazing place (I have been wracking my brain for the name of this place....update to follow) that is known for it's legendary corn chowder. Being a vegetarian on a road trip with a high school, I was kind of stuck to corn and potatoes for sustenance. If I was lucky, I would order ice cream with nuts in it for protein. EEEEEEEEverybody wants barbecue in Georgia. I got a rammekin full of the corn chowder, which was delicious, but the crowning glory of the evening was the devilled eggs. So rich, yet so fluffy all at the same time! I have since adapted my egg salad scrumwich recipe to include these memorable flavors from this amazing diner.

6 hard boiled eggs

3-4 celery stalks, diced

1/2 green pepper, diced

1 small yellow onion, diced

2 tbsp light mayonnaise

2 tbsp Dijon mustard

2 tbsp finely shredded parmesan

1 tbsp dried dill

1 loaf marble rye bread

*cayenne pepper and salt to taste

• boil your eggs. here is how I do it: Place them in a saucepan with cold water. Make sure it is filled to just a centimeter over the tops of your eggs. Boil on medium-high heat until it reaches a rolling boil. Once it starts boiling, leave it for roughly one to two minutes, then turn the heat off completely. Once it stops boiling, cover your saucepan and set a timer for fifteen minutes. Cool down your eggs and peel 'em.
• Use the time that the eggs are cooking to dice your veggies. I like my veggies to be very finely diced. set your veggies aside and peel your eggs.
• once you have peeled your eggs, remove the yolks. Place the yolks in a small mixing bowl. add the mayo and mustard. using a small whisk, break up the egg yolks and mix them well into the mayo and mustard. This will be the base for your sandwich spread, so if you prefer a little more mayo than mustard, tweak as you will.
• add the dill, salt, cayenne, and parmesan to your egg yolks. the Cayenne gives it a very well-rounded kick and the parmesan's tangy, saltiness balances really well with the eggs.
• add your veggies and stir them together.
• dice your egg whites. I prefer larger, chunkier egg whites, but some people almost crumble theirs. It's up to you! Mix them into your spread.
• Build your scrumwich! I prefer a thick, hearty bread with egg salad. there is a light sweetness and creaminess to egg salad and the dark flavors of rye based breads are just kick-ass. So slice up your bread and add any sort of crunchy veggies that you'd like. I used spinach instead of lettuce for extra iron. Arugula would be awesome too. Slather on your egg salad, top it off with another slice of bread, and nom!

Vegan....Pillsbury...Cupcakes?!

guys. GUYS. I did it. I made vegan cupcakes that actually taste like real cupcakes. Not dry army biscuits or goopy, greasy, oily to hell dough-wads. It all started at around midnight when my buddies were looking for something sweet to munch on. I've had a plain ol' box of pillsbury strawberry cake mix and frosting which had taken up permanent residence on my top shelf. Now was their time to shine.

i combined the cake mix with a usual touch of true vanilla extract (so it doesn't taste like it came from a box), two tablespoons of ground flax seed....and the secret ingredient: Buddy Fruits. This should be a permanent installment on the shelf of every vegan baker. They're little pouches of pure fruit puree AND THAT'S IT. nothing is added, no sugar or coloring, just the plain, squishy fruit. I scooped them up in a 5 for $5 deal at Publix one day and have never looked back. I added a whole pouch as well.

Enjoy my food porn, and the satisfaction of having a vegan cupcake recipe that is so easy, you could train a monkey to cook it.

Birthing the cupcakes

so pink!


This is my lunch. YUSS!